If it hasn't been done already, the socio-cultural impact of classic phrases from Lancashire is undoubtedly a PhD thesis waiting to happen.

Lancastrians are a withering lot, which presumably you need to be if you're going to fight people from Yorkshire about flowers.

It's been an interesting few weeks in health policy. A lot of things that have happened have been even less reasonable than usual.

In fact, it has gotten downright weird. In the words of the late Dr Hunter S Thompson, "when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro".

Interview by Andy Cowper

Health Policy Insight: How are the new Vanguards doing?

Simon Stevens: The selection for the first crop of PACS/MCP Vanguards was only four months ago, and the ones chosen were not by any means all the usual suspects; nor were they in parts of the country universally deemed to be 'doing well'.

Transcript of Sir David Nicholson seminar, Civitas 20 July 2015 'Is the Government still ignoring the NHS's finance problem?'

The term 'The Nicholson Challenge' was health select committee chair Stephen Dorrell putting a target on my back. Recently, George Osborne called the Five-Year Forward View (5YFV) 'The Stevens Plan'. Simon will have noticed ...

This Local Government Chronicle story by David Paice, cross-posted on HSJ, shows why the health policy universe needs to understand the circumstances in which health secretary Jeremy Hunt would unleash his Johnson.

And one of the worst-kept secrets in the NHS is revealed: Monitor and the TDA are to sort-of-merge. Both organisations will continue to exist legally, but there will be a new chief executive appointed by both boards.

And it will not be Dr David Bennett.

Dr Bennett feels that he has been fighting a rearguard action with Jeremy Hunt on FT performance for too long.

Wednesday's programme opened with an attentive, personal and measured speech from NHS Confederation chief executive Rob Webster on the issues facing the service. Anita Anand again chaired all the plenaries with skill and wit.

We hide vegetables - and I'm in charge
This was followed by Simon Stevens' speech, delivered in a more narrative and conversational style than last year.

Rough transcript

Unlike Ed Miliband forgetting to mention the deficit, I'm going to spend a lot of time talking about financial pressure. Thank you for having me back. It was a closely fought election, thrilled to be back. HSJ's Shaun Lintern tweeted that he was "strangely relieved", which is the closest thing to a compliment I'll get from HSJ.

I want to pay tributes, to Andy Burnham on his passion for health and social care integration and to Norman Lamb on mental health: rest assured we will build on that legacy and put mental health centre stage (Applause).

Simon Stevens transcript

There was no text for this speech, so this is a very rough transcript, far from carved on tablets of stone

Health Policy Insight spoils you, I know. Firstly, you got exclusive understanding of how Simon Stevens' NHS strategy is derived from Brian Wilson's Pet Sounds.

Now we can exclusively reveal that Dr David Bennett is the reincarnation of leather-trousered rock god and Doors frontman Jim Morrison.