Your responses to our competition on Twitter for a title for the new Command Paper gave me a bit of a headache, in a good and entirely appropriate way.

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Click here for details of 'A political rugby ball and Command Paper II - the reform of NHS reform gets party-political', the new issue of subscription-based Health Policy Intelligence.

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Sadly, plans to arrange a meeting with Nadine Dorries as first prize and two meetings as second prize have not come to fruition. Or perhaps we should more appropriately say, to vegetation.

So instead, prizes will be awarded in the form of a Belgian beer of your choice at a central London location.

All my own entries ['Co-operation And Integration: Loving The NHS'; 'Escaping The Excrement: Relaunching The Policy'; 'The Pelican Brief'; 'Disco Inferno: Burns, baby, Burns'; and blatantly stealing ideas from Steve Kell and Dave West (or as it’s also known, bidding for a care pathway) 'Enmity And Elections: Neo-Liberalising The NHS'] were automatically disqualified.

A hat-tip to Health Policy Insight readers’ catholic musical tastes, with your various references to the oeuvres of Love, Geri Halliwell, Procul Harum, Led Zeppelin, Grandmaster Flash, the late Gil Scott Heron and Fatboy Slim. Did I miss a few?

It became obviously necessary to have different categories of award.

So in no particular order, the winners are:

Popular Culture Reference category
A joint win here, for @DavidStout100’s Tarantino allusion ‘Kill Bill / Kill Bill 2’, and @paulleake’s Procul Harum-referencing ‘A Slighter Shade Of Fail’.

Health Policy Insight In-Joke category
The runaway victor was The Times’ Sam Lister, for the bold simplicity of ‘Simon Says: The Burns Supremacy’. HPI’s campaign for Simon Burns to be the next Secretary Of State For Health, like rust, never sleeps.

Playing With The Original Title category
This approach was very popular, and occasions a two-way split between PCT Cassander’s ‘Private Equity? Excellent! Liquidating the NHS’ and HSJ’s Dave West’s ‘Enmity And Elections: LiberalDemocrating The NHS’.

Lansley Reference category
Another two that I couldn’t tell apart for quality were @YesWeJon’s ‘Berating The SoS’ and @nhsgooroo’s ‘Quitting And Exiting: Liberating The SOS’.

Made Me Laugh Out Loud category
The clear victor was @FurryCanary’s reworking of the famous misquote of Margaret Thatcher (her actual line was “the NHS is safe with us”): ‘The NHS Is A Safe In Our Hands’.

Good God, Have You Nothing Better To Do? category
The victor here was multiple @melloJonny, for his eight entries
1. The Future’s Bright, The Future’s Orange
2. Operation Enduring Freedom
3. Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five Present, 'Cut Faster, Grandmaster! 2011 Remix'
4. 'Origami For Beginners: Making A New NHS With Random Cuts'
5. Better Dead Than Red, Anything But Socialised Healthcare
6. Freedom Flies: Unzipping The NHS
7. Making It Purple: Liberalising The NHS
8. Slow Slicing, Death By A Thousand Cuts

I shall circulate a date for winners to collect their prize shortly – suggestions for an appropriate central London location are welcome.

The full list of entries follows below.

@mellojonny
1. Better Dead Than Red, Anything But Socialised Healthcare
2. Freedom Flies: Unzipping The NHS
3. Making It Purple: Liberalising The NHS
4. Slow Slicing, Death By A Thousand Cuts
5. The Future Is Bright, The Future Is Orange
6. Operation Enduring Freedom
7. Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five Present, 'Cut Faster, Grandmaster! 2011 Remix'
8. 'Origami For Beginners: Making A New NHS With Random Cuts'

@Do0g1e
Enmity And Pestilence: Li(Es &)Berating The NHS
In Space, No-One Can Hear The NHS Scream
Liberating The NHS: Rescheduled To Coincide With The Rapture (Fear Not, True Believers)
Liberating The NHS: We've Listened (In Secret), Now Shhh!

@PolicyMash
Equanimity And Expedience: Defibrilating The NHS

@fchinemana
"I Was 24 Hours From Taking Over [Tulsa]"

@yrhumbleservant
Rare in the Community
Bare in the Community
Vince-ing The NHS
Mincing The NHS
The Communist Manifesto

@LisaSaysThis
(for veterinary health reform) Bear In The Community
(new public health paper) Pear In The Community

@AlisdairC
Travels With A Turkey: What I (Didn't) Learn On My Break

@nhsgooroo
Quitting And Exiting: Liberating The SOS

@SAFCBOB
Relaunching Policy Failure: Ducking and Diving

@DamsonHealth
"Return Of The Liberator: This Time He Means Business"
The Burns Stupidity

@SamListerTimes
*lookintomyeyeslookintomyeyeslookintomyeyes* Equity & Excellence: Liberati... Ta-daa!
Simon Says
The Burns Ultimatum
The Burns Supremacy

@NicolaClose
Listening To The NHS (Would Be Nice To Think)
The Return Of …

@NHSConfed_Niall
Seven Pillars Of Wisdom

@MBirty
Pause And Obfuscation: Confusing The NHS

@Davewwest
Emasculating The NHS Bill
Enmity And Elections: Liberaldemocrating The NHS

@d_williams_
WeLOVETheNHS
Commissioning Consortia Clusterfuck: Alliterating the NHS

@HSJEditor
Liberating the NHS: AndMoreAgain

@ken8158
Scary Paper 2 - Revenge of the Clegg
Reirritating The NHS

@cornflake57
No Health, No Care, No Say
From Womb To Tomb By Faster M-Way Toll Route

@FurryCanary
The National Health Service Is A Safe In Our Hands

@paulleake
A Slighter Shade Of Fail

@Rach1605
Making It Up And Guessing: Fiddling About With The NHS

@g00nergirl
In Through The OUT Door
Rollin With The Punches

@Elektra
Last Patient Standing (please turn off the lights)

@Kevfrost
Scream If You Want To Go Faster

@NavinSewak
Re-Liberating the NHS: Privatisation? Who Mentioned Privatisation?
We Love The NHS, You Love The NHS, All Of Us Love The NHS, That's Why We Need To Change The NHS
LaLaLa LaLaLaLa LaLaLa LaLaLaLa We're Still Listening

@NathWales
Inequity is Excellent - Liberating Disease
Lost in Translation

@EmilyThornberry
Not Waiving But Drowning

@PCTCassander
Private Equity? Excellent! Liquidating the NHS

@ProfAlanMaynard
Coercing The NHS: Monopoly And Direction (author Comrade Nicholson KGB and bar)

@parkeriana
The Liberation Will Not Be Televised

@DavidStout100
Kill Bill / Kill Bill 2

@YesWeJon
Berating The SoS

@emrsa15
Nonsense And Nonsensibility

@johnmclarke
Liberating The NHS: The Last Crusade

@brucejgray
Back once again with the renegade master, D for damager, power to the people, back once again with the ill behaviour

@tmeek87
Stand By Your Lan(sley)

@SteveKellGP
Liberalising The NHS

@drpanik
Liberator 2: Fudgement Day

jappleby123
Reliberating The NHS