Unsurprisingly, The Simon Burns Song provoked a Twitter request for a companion piece dedicated to Care Services Minister Norman Lamb.

Politicians are, after all, only human.

Norman is a man I like, and this is a request I was happy to take.

Norman Lamb

The glasses channel Michael Caine, back in The Ipcress File.
Your son's a music mogul, so why not put on the style?
The lost Post-It note anecdote explains the job delayed;
Has ministerial office made your chagrin start to fade?

Can't be fun in coalition: Big Tent in-out-micturition,
And Harrison Ford's hairstyle says his owner wants him back.

Minister Liberated can't mandate cash parity
Of esteem for mental health: that's the world that used to be.
So the legislation nation wrings its hands and watches on.
Gone from Dilnot on to Do-not, and the problems sing along.

Can't be fun in coalition: Big Tent in-out-micturition,
And Harrison Ford's hairstyle says his owner wants him back.

So intractable care problems beset a decent sort,
And we have seen some achievements, I'd expect you to retort.
Which is true, and it ain't easy: wicked problems never are
So I'll see you in the Commons and I'll see you at the bar.

Can't be fun in coalition, Big Tent in-out-micturition,
And Harrison Ford's hairstyle says his owner wants him back.
Can't be fun in coalition: Big Tent in-out-micturition,
And Harrison Ford's hairstyle says his owner wants him back.