1. Celebrate. They had no clue they were going to win an overall majority. They have one. It is not large, and that will create evident challenges in due course. But basically, they will be very happy indeed with a remarkable electoral achievement.

2. Order DH to welease The Wose Weview. Or maybe not.

3. Call Simon Stevens and ask him how much money it's really going to need to keep the NHS financial wheels from coming off messily and visibly, in a way that would necessitate the top-down redisorganisation to end all top-down redisorganisations.

4. While on the phone, ask Simon Stevens how he can also deliver seven-day working by 2020; lead the world in fighting cancer and finding a cure for dementia; restore patients' right to access to a named GP; ensure that there are mental health therapists in every part of the country providing treatment for those who need it; and hire more doctors and nurses as promised.

5. Wonder whether cutting social care funding for local government might have anything to do with increasing demand pressures in the NHS.