Excuse me?

Actually announcing new lockdown restrictions? Out loud, in the real world? (Always fashionably too late, obvs.)

Oh pur-lease, darlings. That's peak cheugy.

So 2020.

The 2021 trend is here, and it's fab-u-lous.

This season, it's all about the 'shush'-y lockdown (a trend first spotted by the fashion bible Manchester Evening News).

The 2021 trend for Covid19 restrictions is strictly on a 'need to know' basis - as in 'you don't need to know'.

Covid's gone covert. Think 'Secret Cinema', but with no publicity at all. Isn't it super?

There's always been a danse macabre element to this Government's music. And what people don't know about the spread of a more infectious version of the Covid19 virus can't hurt them, right?

Secrecy is like sequins: you can never have enough.

(Oh no, you wouldn't know our Covid19 restrictions: they go to another school.)